DOG QUOTES

"No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture
unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the
conversation." -Fran Lebowitz

"Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite
unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always
have to mix love and hate." -Sigmund Freud

"If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that
certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very
few persons." -James Thurber

"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a
weird religious cult." -Rita Rudner

"Dogs need to sniff the ground; it's how they keep abreast
of current events. The ground is a giant dog newspaper,
containing all kinds of late-breaking dog news items,
which, if they are especially urgent, are often continued
in the next yard." -Dave Barry

"Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never
washed a dog." -Franklin P. Jones

"If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise."
-Unknown

"My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to
$3.00 a can. That's almost $21.00 in dog money." - Joe
Weinstein

“Man’s humanity towards men begins with man’s humanity towards animals” (Dr. Albert Schweitzer)

If you want to be liked, get a dog. The people you work with are not your friends.
--Deborah Norville

The greatest pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him, and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself, too.
--Samuel Butler

"It is remarkable to know that every creature has the chance to go from forgotten to beloved if the right open heart comes along." ---Samarra Khaja

The reason the dog has so many friends: He wags his tail instead of his tongue. --Unknown

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man --Mark Twain

“He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.” -unknown

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs.
--Aldous Leonard Huxley British writer

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
--Mark Twain

Ever consider what dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul – chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!
--Anne Tyler

Some days you're the dog, and some days you're the hydrant.
--Unknown

Never trust a dog to watch your food.
--Patrick age 10 Advice from Kids

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
--Mark Twain

You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!' --Dave Barry

Artists like cats, soldiers like dogs.
--Desmond Morris

A dog has the soul of a philosopher.
--Plato

To a dog the whole world is a smell
--Unknown

Dogs wait for us faithfully
--Marcus Tullius Cicero

Asking a writer what he thinks about criticism is like asking a lamppost what it feels about dogs.
--John Osborne

Animals are reliable, many full of love, true in their affections, predictable in their actions, grateful and loyal. Difficult standards for people to live up to. --Alfred A. Montapert

"If there is no heaven for dogs, then I want to go where they go when I die."
--Anonymous

"If dogs could talk, perhaps we would find it as hard to get along with them as we do with people."
--Capek

"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself."
--Billings

"The dog who meets with a good master is the happier of the two."
--Maeterlinck

"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."
--Ben Williams

"Whoever said you can’t buy happiness forgot about little puppies."
--Gene Hill

"No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as much as the dog does."
--Christopher Morley

"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself."
--Josh Billings

"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person."
--Andrew A. Rooney

"I've seen a look in dogs’ eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts."
--John Steinbeck

"If your dog doesn't like someone you probably shouldn't either."
--Unknown

"Old dogs, like old shoes, are comfortable.
They might be a bit out of shape and a little worn around the edges, but they fit well."
--Bonnie Wilcox 'Old Dogs, Old Friends'

"The more people I meet the more I like my dog"--Unknown

"In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn't merely try to train him to be semihuman. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming partly a dog."
--Edward Hoagland

"I once decided not to date a guy because he wasn't excited to meet my dog.
I mean, this was like not wanting to meet my mother."
--Bonnie Schacter

"No matter how little money and how few possessions, you own, having a dog makes you rich."
--Louis Sabin

"Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail."--Josh Billings

"A piece of grass a day keeps the vet away"
--Unknown Dog

"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
--Roger Caras

"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear."
--Dave Barry

"The dog was created specially for children. He is the god of frolic."--Henry Ward Beecher

"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."
--Ann Landers

"If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons." --James Thurber

"Dogs have given us their absolute all. We are the center of their universe, we are the focus of their love and faith and trust. They serve us in return for scraps. It is without a doubt the best deal man has ever made." --Roger Caras

"A dog is one of the remaining reasons why some people can be persuaded to go for a walk."
--O. A. Battista

"A dog is man's best friend, and vice versa."
--Anonymous

"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down."
--Roger Caras

"The dog has got more fun out of man than man has got out of the dog, for man is the more laughable of the two animals."
--James Thurber

"A good dog deserves a good home."
--Proverb

"A watchdog is a dog kept to guard your home,
usually by sleeping where a burglar would awaken the household by falling over him."
--Anonymous

"There's just something about dogs that makes you feel good.
You come home, they're thrilled to see you. They're good for the ego."
--Janet Schnellman

"A dog's bark may be worse than his bite, but everyone prefers his bark."
--Anonymous

"The ideal dog food would be a ration that tastes like a postman."
--Anonymous

"A dog can express more with his tail in minutes than his owner can express with his tongue in hours." --Anonymous

"There is only one smartest dog in the world, and every boy has it."
--Anonymous

"Every dog may have his day, buy it's the puppies that have the weekends." --Anonymous

"A dog's bark may be worse than his bite, but it's never quite so personal" --Anonymous

"Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails."
--Max Eastman

"Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job."
--Franklin P. Jones

"I can train any dog in 5 minutes. It's training the owner that takes longer."
--Barbara Woodhouse

"You think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you, they will be there long before any of us."
--Robert Louis Stevenson

"You can’t keep a good man down -- or an over affectionate dog."
--Anonymous

"No animal I know of can consistently be more of a friend and companion than a dog."
--Stanley Leinwoll

"When most of us talk to our dogs, we tend to forget they're not people."
--Julia Glass

"Any time you think you have influence, try ordering around someone else's dog." --The Cockle Bur

"Old Yeller was bought for 3 dollars from
a shelter; his real name was Spike." --World Features Syndicate

"Disney's "Shaggy Dog" was bought for 2 dollars at a pound."
--World Features Syndicate

"… none are as fiercely loyal as dog people.
In return, no doubt, for the never-ending loyalty of dogs."
--Linda Shrieves, Orlando Sentinel

"Happiness is a warm puppy."
--Charles Schulz

"A collie has the brain of a man, and the ways of a woman."
--Scottish Proverb

"Many dogs will give a greeting grin much like a human smile."
--Richard A. Wolters

"Intelligent dogs rarely want to
please people whom they do not respect." --W.R. Koehler

"There is no faith which has never yet
been broken except that of a truly faithful dog." --Konrad Lorenz

"The old saw about old dogs and new tricks
only applies to certain people." --Daniel Pinkwater

"I have caught more ills from people sneezing over me and giving me virus infections than from kissing dogs." --Barbara Woodhouse